Sex & Intimacy Coach - Dr. John Arnaldi

 

 

About My Journey

Here's a brief look at my personal journey and my background and qualifications as a sex and intimacy coach.

I have worked as a life coach, counselor, educator, and consultant since 1976.

I earned a Ph.D., an M.A., and a B.A. at the University of South Florida.

My main interests now are relationships, intimacy, sexuality, mindfulness, and spirituality.

I am enthusiastically sex-positive: I know that ethical, shame-free sexual pleasure is essential to spiritual and physical health. I am proud to be a bisexual nudist.

I am committed to living joyfully and serving my community.

 

 

Photo of The Sex & Intimacy Coach, Dr. John Arnaldi.


Do what makes you come alive!

 

Some Reflections on My Journey

In my mid-forties I thought I had it made: a good marriage, excellent health, a career I loved, modest savings, and a nice home. But in my fifties my whole world fell apart. I lost my job and career, my marriage, my home, and most of my savings. And of course, my health suffered. I was depressed—I had no energy and little interest in anything. There were many dark days when it seemed that my life was over. I had no clue of where to go from there.

How did I end up at such a low point? Many years of failing to listen to my soul.

I had long ago abandonned parts of myself, my shadow, out of deep shame. I invested heavily in an ego that demanded perfection of myself. So after a lifetime of wasting precious energy trying to perfect and control myself, I was exhausted. I was pretty good at pleasing others, but usually had no clue of how to please myself. Or what my soul required of me.

I grew up within a religious and cultural tradition that views human nature and our physical body as inherently sinful. I was taught that spirituality and sexuality are opposites. I wasted energy struggling to suppress my desires for pleasure and sex. I learned at an early age to live in my mind and to disconnect from my feelings and my body. I had difficulty being fully present with others. The more I tried to be perfect, the more I seemed to fail, adding to my shame instead of reducing it. I was caught in a vicious circle of shame that was strangling the life out of me.

After my life began falling apart, I went to counseling (therapy) and took an anti-depressant medication, both of which helped. Gradually, I stopped listening to my self-critical thinking and started paying attention to my desires and following them. I started listening to my soul. I trusted myself to take risks I would have previously considered outrageous.

Early on in my quest, I followed my desire to a nude beach on the Atlantic. I walked the beach for several hours before I worked up the courage enter the heavy, chilly surf. I was barely able to keep upright as the waves churned the sand out from under my feet, but I persisted. Being so absolutely naked and tiny in this vast, powerful ocean was both humbling and exhilarating! I was fully awake and alive! I got in touch with intense emotions, felt a powerful connection with God, and was filled with gratitude and hope. This was exactly what my soul had needed!

From there, I found my way to naked yoga classes, men's groups, ecstatic dance, tantra workshops, erotic massage, and more social nudism. And I felt called to help men connect with their bodies, souls, and sexuality.

After my marriage ended, I started dating. I dated some men and fell in love with a woman. We enjoyed 18 amazing months together before we ended our relationship. Despite the pain of breaking up, I'm glad I had been willing to risk loving again—that was a miracle really. And I will keep myself open to loving. Again and again.

In high school I realized that mainstream churches did not meet my spiritual needs, so I joined the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers). Now after several decades of quiet, meditative worship with the Quakers, I'm attending the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) where the celebration of communion is one of the most important events of my week.

All of these experiences have helped me to heal and grow.

The more I free myself from shame and perfectionism, the more I love myself. My relationships are more loving and I have more energy for living.

And my soul sings as I help others experience the joy of living that is our birthright.

 

Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.
—Zora Neale Hurston

 

Professional Experience and Achievements

I serve on the board of directors of The Bridge, a community organization dedicated to raising awareness and teaching skills needed to create a life-sustaining future.

I am the organizer for two men's groups:
    Tampa Men's Group
    Tampa Bay Gay Nudists Social Group

Previously I worked as a mental health counselor for 24 years.

I served as President of the Florida Mental Health Counseling Association (FMHCA) from 1999 to 2000.

I co-founded the Tampa Men's Council which sponsored men's groups and workshops for eight years.

I provided Employee Assistance services for local businesses and clinical supervision for counselors.

I taught graduate-level counseling courses and undergraduate ethics courses at the University of South Florida (USF).

Working with students in my ethics courses inspired me to write a book, The Ethics and Efficacy of the Global War on Terrorism: Fighting Terror with Terror, co-authored with Charles Webel. It is available in my Store.

 

What my clients say about My Effectiveness.

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Tampa, Florida       Phone: 813.919.7963      Email

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