Yesterday I worked half a day which meant that I missed the Tampa Pride parade. I would have liked to participate, but could not afford to miss the opportunity to work.
I did go to Ybor City after work and met my good buddy. By the time I got there, all of the Tampa Pride events were over, but we walked around a little. I’m not big on bars or drinking so there was not much of interest to me, other than people-watching. Lots of cute young people in wild outfits. But that just triggered feelings of loneliness.
Went to bed early last night. Didn’t feel like reading serious material or thinking too much. Couldn’t get inspired to write my blog. Instead watched some movies. Mostly slept through the second one.
For the last few years, I have put a lot of energy into showing up. Just showing up no matter what. Even when I didn’t want to.
Now I seem to need lots of time to chill. It does feel like I am shifting toward slowing down and quiet and contemplation. I am being more mindful these days. Paying attention to my thoughts and behavior. Trying to listen to my body, which is asking for lots of quiet time. Preparing for whatever is next. Trying to open myself to follow where I am led. To surrender.
It’s time to get ready for church.