Forty Blogs for Forty Days of Lent – Day 11

Shedding Lies for Lent


The Information Age sucks. It’s really not information, it’s more like a flood of misinformation. I’m sick of all of the lies and misinformation about everything! First it’s Al-Qaeda, then ISIS, now back to Iran or North Korea, then Obama-Care and socialized medicine, and depression and ED (erectile dysfunction), and soul-destroying SIN. One threat after another! Don’t think, don’t feel, don’t question. Just watch out because the boogie man’s gonna get you!

Fear is raining down on us every minute of every day.

There seems to be no escape. I’ve turned off my television and my radio. I’ve stopped looking at so-called news on the Internet. I haven’t bought a newspaper in years. And yet, where ever I go and whomever I meet, everyone’s talking about the same fears, without realizing that these fears are a manufactured reality. Who profits when we are afraid? Fear is a big business. Fear is the foundation of consumerism (materialism).

But there is an alternative. Instead of relying on the so-called news media and educational institutions for information relevant to my life, I am going deeper inward. I am learning to trust the exquisitely sensitive data gathering systems of my body and the natural curiosity of my uncensored mind. My body speaks to me. My soul speaks to me. 24-7. I am listening more.

For several years I have been trying to follow my desires, including some extreme erotic desires. The more I have followed this path, the more I am learning about myself and life. This is an ecstatic path, a path of pleasure and joy. And deep peace.

I am learning that breath can be an ecstatic experience. Even a simple kiss can be erotic bliss. As I open myself to Life Energy, I find beauty and ecstasy nearly everywhere.

I talk with men and women nearly every day who are disappointed in life, in love, and sex. Many say they have never really been in love or felt truly loved. Many have been wounded deeply with sex. Many people in the second half of life have told me that they gave up on sex years ago, that sex is for the young and the foolish.

This is not the paradise we were set to inherit at birth. We have been numbed and disconnected from the natural sources of renewal and healing and joy that are hard-wired into every cell in our body. We have believed lie after lie. Without questioning.

I believed many of the lies. For years, I believed that my sex life was over. Or that I needed medications for depression, Attention Deficit Disorder, low testosterone, back pain, erectile dysfunction. But, at least in my case, what I needed was healing and renewal. I needed major changes in my thinking and my life style. I needed to connect to my body and listen to my soul.

Some of the biggest adjustments were to my thinking. For example, like most men, I totally bought into the concept that sexual performance consisted of arousal and foreplay, followed by some form of intercourse, ending in climax (with ejaculation in males). This linear definition required an erect penis throughout.

Of course women have been trying to tell men forever that sex is more than that. They eventually give up. It’s all too sad.

Between all of the misinformation and the shame, it’s nearly impossible to talk about any of this. Or to simply enjoy exploring sensuous and erotic feelings with ourselves and our partners.

But, I got curious. I listened to my heart and followed my desire. I stopped buying the medical definitions of limitations and brokenness. And the religious ideas of sin, especially sexual sin.

I started seeking out people who would talk openly about their sexual experiences. And people who had experienced sexual ecstasy. I found teachers of tantra and sacred sexuality who believed that sexual pleasure and spirituality were part of the same whole.

And I started experimenting with myself and with partners. I discovered that sex is not a performance. Sex is being. Sex is Life.

I found out that genitals are highly over-rated. Sexual satisfaction and erotic bliss have less to do with genitals and more to do with connecting with heart and soul and sharing the excitement/energy throughout the body. Seeking ways to connect body and soul. Learning to surrender to spirit. Without shame!

Most of my life I thought good sex was all about having an erect penis. Wrong again. When too much of the focus is on genitals, the result is premature ejaculation and/or erectile dysfunction. A few minutes of intercourse ending in a few seconds of ejaculation.

Listen to your body. It might be telling you that you are doing it wrong. You are being a bully and trying to push it to perform according to your ego. Putting the cart before the horse. Trust your body, your penis! The body never lies!

I am sad to say that until I was sixty, orgasm (with ejaculation) was a top priority during lovemaking. Without it, I felt disappointed and frustrated.

That was before I had experienced the waves of erotic ecstasy generated by an electrifying kiss with my lover, lips barely touching, fully clothed, with no genitals involved. That was before I had ten minute body orgasms without erection and without ejaculation. That was before I learned to open myself to exquisite waves of pleasure through simple Tantric breathing. With no let-down afterward, just a deeply warm, satisfying peace.

Tantra ruined sex for me. I can never go back to the way it was before. But I’m not complaining.

Prayer from Lent: Holy spirit, rain down upon this place and into our hearts…

This entry was posted in Body & Energy Work, Breath, Breathwork, Depression, Men, Renewal, Sexuality, Shadow Work, Shame, Spirituality, Tantra and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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